THE F WORD

blogs and all the hateration

2011-08-02T05:25:00.000-07:00

just a quick note to the highly opinionated.

i read a lot of blogs in my free and not so free time, it's one of my hobbies. where else would i get all the gist about a wedding i didn't attend or what Genevieve wore over the weekend? gracias bella naija, linda ikeji and 360nobs. shout out to all the other bloggers on my blog roll but the crux is about the readers of the aforementioned blogs.

i find it rather irritating when readers turn the comment section of blogs to an insult ground / battle field. alot of the times, one can almost taste the haterade from the computer screen. so what if a bride's dress is hideous on her wedding day? so what if "they really spent money for this wedding"? so what if you know that the groom is a compulsive womanizer? so what if someone's shoes have red soles but are not Louboutins? so what if someone's weave is not original?

i'm not condemning anyone's exercise of their right to free speech, all i'm saying is let's be a little sensitive and a lot more constructive with our comments. the people we so openly insult read these blogs too and it won't do much for their self esteem to see alot of negativity being written about them.

someone's weave is not original? well, that's the one she has...deal with it. if you had to say something to that effect at all cost, how about "i think Bukky would have looked nicer in another weave" as opposed to "gosh, this Bukky is just too razz and she calls herself a celeb, upon all the money she gets from sleeping with men she couldn't afford a nicer looking weave. she looks like a tacky b*tch. go and upgrade yourself you ugly drag queen". - trust me, i've seen comments like that and even much worse. then Bukky's fans would also clap back and before you know it 300 negative comments. kai, life is not that serious...and you really don't want to think about all the typos and bad English that punctuate the comments.

how about we all just live a little, laugh alot and spread good cheer...it won't hurt nobody. sigh!

RIP Motunrayo

2011-07-20T04:39:00.000-07:00

i really have to be careful in doing this post. perhaps i shouldn't say anything and just pray for Motunrayo but i have a few strong words for people who are being insensitive.
i got a BB from my sister on Monday morning saying that Motunrayo had died and i guess we've all heard 'the how'. it was all very sad and not mainly because of 'the how' but because of 'the who'.
Motunrayo Ogbara and i went to Corona Apapa together as well as Queen's College so she was someone i saw very often for about 10years. she was so full of life, quite the popular girl and i remember her slightly husky voice so well.
whatever her underlying reasons were, depression or no depression, man or no man, this sad thing has happened and she is no more.
so for Manny and his co-presenter on cool fm this morning, big shame on you for being insensitive, judgmental and trying to find any humor at all in this sad incident. for the people who sit and compose broadcast messages on BB and find some sort of gratification in the shallow words you put together, big shame on you. for people who claim to know her and therefore think it is in your place to tell of her being depressed, shame on you and an even bigger shame on you for not helping her seek help.
if common sense fails you and you don't know how to handle this situation, please shut up and let her loved ones grieve in peace.
we all get very sad, confused and confounded and there are periods in our lives when we are at our lowest. let's all just thank God for the grace to handle overwhelming situations and pray that the devil does not overcome us in such times.

RIP Motunrayo.

the3six5

2011-07-20T04:09:00.000-07:00

it's beautiful, nice and sunny in funkyville and i really am taking this my 'blog as much as possible' thingy seriously :)
my post for the3six5.com was published on the 9th of July and here is a link to it xxxxx. yep, the link is right there on the xxx's :) the post was short and concise as you can't write more than 365 words and you pretty much just share what your day was like. i had so much fun doing it and when it gets published into a 2011 diary, i'll be sure to buy it. they are taking writers for 2012 so if anyone is interested, now is the time to put your name forward.
cheers!

GIMME MY BLOG LIFE BACK!

2011-07-08T02:13:00.000-07:00

i want my blog life back and i want it so bad.
i realise that blogging was therapy for me and kept me sane back when i did it very often. now i have a number of blogs and all i do with them is make promises to be a better blogger. let's see how far i go this time around.
some factors have motivated me to blog more:
- bella naija is 5!!!like seriously, 5! i started blogging in August 2007...it's almost 4 years and though i didn't plan to be such a huge blogger or even move house out of blogspot, for me it feels like "wow! she started out just like me".
- i'm writing for the3six5.com which is a blog with 365 writers, one for everyday of the year. i wish i could actually have an entry on my blog every day of the year. by the way, my post on the 365 project will be up tomorrow, July 9th and i'm looking forward to it.
- i have a lot of stuff i haven't shared and i would quite like a record of it on my blog.

i really should activate the mobile blogging thingy so i can update from my phone (no excuses this time around).

so i guess i'm serious about having my blog life back. all the best to me.
xoxo

The Real Divas

2010-08-10T03:46:00.000-07:00

This post is specially dedicated to the divas.

I don't mean the women who carry an entire collection of 6 Louis Vuitton suitcases on holiday 'cause they just don't know what they might need. I'm also not talking about the ones who get upset because they wait 5 minutes at Nail Studio and get no service. My dedication also does not extend to those women who think a restaurant is crappy because they serve sevruga but not beluga caviar.

I'm talking about the women who work their 9 to 5 (or even longer hours)diligently. I'm talking about the ones who took that leap of faith and started their own businesses, the ones who get crappy pay and so have to do "the side hustle" selling clothes out of their trunks, make up, hair...name it.

This dedication extends to the lovely ladies who get up very early in the morning to catch the staff bus or the ones who do the commute on public buses and Okadas. How about the ones who drive for hours in traffic to and from work daily?...this is also for you.

To those who stick it out in unfavorable working conditions (and take that bathroom break to cry it out) and take all the bullsh*t that's being handed to them 'cause there's nothing better out there, the mums (single or not) who deprive themselves to give their kids a great life and great opportunities, the girls who walk out of abusive relationships with their heads high, the ones that have to save up for months to be able to afford that treat (perhaps a new phone, human hair, an economy class ticket to Dubai, a bottle of champagne to celebrate yourself, a spa treatment, last season's Coach bag, or even "Aso-ebi" for a friend's wedding).....this one's for you.

You, my sisters, are the real divas. Don't knock that hustle till you get to where you have always dreamed of.

random post

2010-04-13T04:44:00.000-07:00

I love random blogging. it totally keeps me sane. so here's me giving myself another dose of sanity.

* my birthday was fab. thanks to everyone who made me feel special. i don't feel any older than before...my back doesn't hurt, i haven't had my hip redone, i don't wear dentures. ha ha! nothing's changed.

* i was a bit ill over the weekend. i had a banging headache, my belly was in bad shape and my feet were cold but i feel better now.

* i took quite a lot of pills when i was ill, but i didn't feel better until i had Saipan chili sauce. that stuff is magical. it really should be a drug. having some more with noodles for lunch today...i have to complete the dose :)

* i overheard 2 women talking. kai, d convo cracked me up:
woman 1: that my husband's brother that is a lawyer has now bought a car.
woman 2: eeeh yah, thank God o. which kind of car did he buy?
woman 1: i don't remember the name but the car has a/c.
Ldkmd!i don't blame woman 1 jare, with the heat wave in Lagos, who cares if u are driving a banger...as long as it has a/c.

* this one time, at band camp...hehe! just felt like typing that. i didn't go to no band camp.

* gotta get back to work. my ciggy break is over. No! i don't smoke.

p.s: Saipan is a Chinese restaurant at Dream Plaza, Aboyade Cole, Victoria Island, Lagos, Nigeria (free advert! it should earn me free lunch o!)

p.s again: Ldkmd is an acronym for Laff Don Kill Me Die.

go shawty, it's ur birthday!

2010-04-08T06:02:00.000-07:00

Actually…go ME! It’s my birthday, I’m gonna ~~party like~~… be at work the whole day, which is no problem at all, afterall I love my job. Well, it’s not my birthday till tomorrow but what are the odds that I’ll blog tomorrow.

Tryna build up excitement as it’s my quarter of a century ( I hear that’s kinda like a big deal) but really, I’m failing at it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful to be alive….too thankful as a matter of fact; I’m also very grateful for my opportunities but I can’t be asked to be all skippy skippy cheery cheery about my birthday.

(Mentioned it a coupla times on www.funkolaani.blogspot.com ~ hehe! Free advert)

Oh well, gifts are most welcome!

SINGLE IN THE CITY - SEASON 2

2010-03-23T04:26:00.000-07:00

the blog "single in the city" is back. it's season 2!!!!
www.funkolaani.blogspot.com

all i want is you!

2010-03-08T04:02:00.000-08:00

i think about you night and day
i even see you in my dreams

at first i thought it might be love
but now i know it's just pure lust

'cause all i ever wanna do
is get all up in your grill.

i want to work that stick and ride you,
oil those wheels and drive you home

i want to spin around and around
until we're both dizzy.

i want you so bad...
i want you to be mine

got my eyes on you
you sexy red hot Toyota Solara

p.s: now accepting birthday gifts. my quarter of a century is a month away and the only thing on my wish list is this car. thank you in advance!

the V word!!!!

2010-02-12T02:31:00.000-08:00

i'm not even gonna use the word on here cos it's as good as jumping off a cliff.

so there's too much hype about it as usual and it really is making me sick (and this isn't because i'm a grinch this year). like i always say, left to people, it would be a public holiday.

i want to go out for drinks on Sunday (as has become my usual practice now) but the traffic would be unreal....the one day in a year where losers try to express their love...msssccchhheeeew!

ok, so i'm being such a grinch.

happy new year

2010-01-05T01:00:00.000-08:00

happy new year all. may 2010 be an amazing and fabulous year where dreams come true for us all.

so, does anyone still do new year resolutions? i'm so done with those and so my resolution this year is not to have one.

back to work now...see you all during blog rounds.

HAPPY THOUGHTS DAY!

2009-11-30T23:37:00.000-08:00

Today, i'm thinking strictly happy thoughts. it's a new month...and though it didn't start the way i would have wanted it, it's all good. i got a mail from God this morning and i'm gonna share cos it really made me happy. i thank God cos He has made me bigger than alot of things and i know i'll always rise above pain, emotional roller-coasters, stress, work drama, traffic and whatever else i didn't ask for that's being thrown at me.
Enjoy:

To: YOU
Date: TODAY
From: GOD
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE

This is God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day.
I love you.

P.S. And, remember...
If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.

Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.

If you find yourself stuck in traffic, don't despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.

Should you have a bad day at work; think of the man who has been out of work for years.

Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.

Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.

Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.

Should you notice a new grey hair in the mirror; think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had the hair to examine.

Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.

Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them!

Now, you have a nice day...God.

p.s: what are u putting in the SFGTD box?

he said...she said

2009-10-21T09:15:00.000-07:00

there are three sides to a story
1. his side
2. her side
3. and the truth
so my friend runs www.fameonline.co.uk and there's always an interesting read everytime i click on it. this one got my attention and i decided to do a he said-she said on it (click for his own side on the fameonline website). he said in blue, she said in pink :-D

17 Things you should know about men

By Deji Osobukola

Men hate to argue, so it’s best you find a compromise. Avoid arguments if and when possible.

if you bring it to the table, better be ready to see it through to the end.

When you speak nicely and gently, men can’t help but listen.

our nice and gentle voice is easier on the ear so they easily muffle it out. we need to yell sometimes...that can't be muffled.

Don’t ask him how you look, unless you are sure you can handle the truth.

after you've spent an hour waiting for us to get dressed, you lie about how we look so we can just get dehell on outta the house. plus when you want a nookie, you say what you think we wanna hear...not the truth. therefore point 3 is so inaccurate.

His eyes notice other women a lot more especially if he is upset with you. Keep him happy.

your eyes were designed like that. so whether we upset you or not, you guys notice whatever it is you want to.

When you make a man happy, all he wants to do is please you and make you happy.

true...especially sexually.

Cigarettes make women look cheap and easy. It is just a hint.

it makes us look tacky as if we are trying hard to be 'in' but i don't know about making us look cheap and easy.

p.s: it's so unattractive on u guys as well. i won't marry a smoker.

Men like it when women dress to please them, rather than dress to impress their friends.

ya! and then look dumb if you say "wear pink" when pink clearly doesn't suit me...then you'll check out my friend who dressed to impress me...wot-everrr!

Appreciate every effort he puts into pleasing you, even if he gets the colour and size wrong.

the thought really does count in this department but it'd be nice if you get the color and size right that way we'll know it wasn't an after-thought or haphazard gift.

Men hate being told what to do. It reminds them of their mothers.

then quit acting like a kid already!

Men hate it when you want to take charge – it becomes a competition for power.

if you won't wear the pants, someone has to step in and do it. if you won't pay the bills, take out the trash, clean out the garage, put down money in the house and basically be 'THE MAN' and you really wanna avoid point 1, then that power competition is on.

Men love to be respected, don’t ask why. We just like it.

'respect begets respect' - God bless whoever said that.

Smiling at a man will make him do things for you so keep that smile on your face.

i need to get a raise. i'll let you guys know if this is true at the end of the month *wink.

Don’t ask him if he is going to wear that, when he is already dressed.

that's fine...just don't let anyone know you are with me.

To a man, it’s not how much you weigh; it’s the fact that your body is proportionate.

so my saggy belly doesn't look so bad with my thick waist line and D cup boobs...that's what i thought.

If you cheat on a man, he will never get over it.

if only you guys realised that we have the same composition in even higher percentages; heart, emotions and all. we also don't get over stuff like this.

Just because he doesn’t remember anniversaries does not mean he doesn’t love you. We just don’t remember dates.

if you think we're worth it, you will. it's one thing to love us, it's another thing to know that we're worth your time and attention.

When a man is upset give him some space to calm down.

but not when you guys are the ones in the wrong tryna get out of explaining or facing the music by forming upset.

RANDOM MUSINGS:

* thanks for giving me something to blog about Deji, i sorta had bloggers' block and this broke it for me. x

*i'm back from over the moon.

* i'm getting called to bar on the 6th of November...whoop whoop!

* if anyone wants to give me a gift, please Fed-ex me an Italian BMT on a hearty italian...foot long, cheese encrusted, ranch and sweet onion sauce. i'm having a mad craving.

i'm cheat-blogging from the moon

2009-10-02T04:49:00.000-07:00

actually...from over the moon. i passed the Nigerian Bar !!!
i wish i had blogged while i was in law school so you guys would know how i played like never before...only to pass like this. God is awesome.
would blog proper when i come back to earth.

a tad too extreme

2009-09-23T03:01:00.000-07:00

i'm still tryna adjust to the real world after the long weekend...two days of public holiday. oooh! and there's another next week. FABULOUS!
anyways, one of the days saw me at the panel beaters place and i saw this car with the license plate.

i love Arsenal and all even with all the disappointments of late but i don't think i'll ever go this far.
p.s: no wonder the car was also at the panel beaters place...haters must have bashed his car.

I DON TIRE...I DEY GO BACK TO MY VILLAGE

2009-09-18T01:29:00.000-07:00

i really don't blame the guy that sang that song decades ago. Lagos mustav milked him dry.
you go out for a decent meal, drink or just a good night out and it's bad enough that you have to pay 5% VAT and 10% service charge on your total bill and now there's an additional 5% charge called a state charge (only in Lagos btw!). how many of u have seen that on a bill recently??
the other day i was at Regents and decided to get take outs, happy that no one was gonna collect 10% service charge. the food and bill arrive and i see 5% VAT...no problem!...then 5% state charge...ogini? i start to ask what dehell state charge was and they couldn't explain. so i paid and stormed off saying "when i have you people's time, i'll come and have a chat with your manager, then he'll tell me what state charge is".
i'm glad i never found the time to go back and chat with the manager cos i wouldav been all too embarrased, being a lawyer and not knowing about the Lagos State Occupancy Restaurant Consumption Law 2009. it provides that hotels and restaurants are to charge their customers an extra 5%. so basically, if you went to bambuddha and ran up a bill of 10k, you'd end up paying 12k. it's almost starting to be as annoying as America, where you see a sign that says "buffet, all you can eat for $10" and you happily go in with your last $10 bill only to find that it's not tax inclusive...leave the rest of the story for tortoise.
oh yea, and for places like mr biggs and chicken republic where they don't break your bill down to show you all the funny taxes you are paying, expect an increase in price soonest. and just as Governor Fashola put it, for those people that go to places where a bottle of beer costs 600 bucks, you'll see it increase to 630 bucks but there'll be no increase in price for those that go to places that charge 145 bucks. in other words, he's saying go to beer parlors and bukas if u have a problem with the taxes. good advice! but me, i'm going back to Ekiti where we live the simple life, getting high on popping bottles of palmwine(i actually think champagne tastes like palmwine), eating steak from bush meat and hanging out on friday nights under the orange tree blasting Ayefele...(:-)wish i knew what i was talking about!).
btw, i better start keeping my receipts as evidence of payment of tax incase FIRS comes to arrest me for tax evasion...at least i can tell them i pay 10% tax to the state for my food and drink ;-)

REVAMPING!

2009-09-16T05:43:00.000-07:00

last post: 5 months ago! sad eh!
i've been gone for too long and i'm gonna be pointing fingers for that...and now i'm pointing at...Council of Legal Education. i had to attend law school for a year and trust me there was no time at all to blog. it was a crazy one year and i'm elated that it's over. results would be out in 13 days...chai! that's like a few minutes.

anyways, I'M BACK!!! (totally screaming at the top of my voice)...and i mean it for real this time. i ain't going nowhere....i ain't..going nowhere. i can't be stopped now cos it's... (i dunno!i'm not about to type Bad girl for life...lol!)

i work now...like serious work now! not family biz where i can take the piss nor my own thing where i'm the boss of me. serious work...i mean...i work 8:30 am to 7pm (crazy work hours but i consider it as paying my dues now). it's total madness sitting at a table for close to 11hours with loads of paper work and agreements, law reports, research and all that. God bless blogger, you tube, facebook and twitter for keeping me sane.

i'm totally loving Kemberly's blog...i'm uber proud of her cos i remember when she started. she has over a hundred posts and still manages to feel bad when she's been away and doesn't update for a minute. actually, i change my mind. KEMBERLY, I'M HATING U! u r making me feel guilty.jk!

i'm off to go do my blog rounds now. see you all around.

my favorite things

2009-03-28T12:53:00.000-07:00

I've been having a crazy time for over a month now...and i don't mean crazy in the good sense. it's been hectic... I've been through a lot... I'm in a lot, praying to get through them...but in all of these, God has been very faithful. i have a list of favorite things i just thought to share.
* the image of Jesus on The Cross : it makes me feel so very special, i'm the main reason He was nailed. this one is particularly nice and it reminds me that He'll be back someday.

* any picture of my 2 sisters and I : no matter how crappy it looks, it reminds me of true friendship.
they'll kill me if they saw this one.

* texts from my mum : i love seeing the first word "baby", it's nice to know that I'm still her baby and will always be, even though I'm 24 (almost, gosh in a few days!). she calls my older sister "big baby" and my younger sister "little baby" or "omo kekere" and i'm just "baby".

* 'the' walk on the beach: i think it's my only one and it was with someone very very special and for some reason, i wasn't so afraid of the water.

* my singing christmas card : it's the cutest thing ever. it plays "all i want for xmas is u" and Rudolph's red nose spins around 'cos some she-reindeer kissed him. it's soooooo cute.

* my ATM card : when i've got money ofcourse... i just get uncontrollable with my spending. i really hate seeing it when i'm skint though.

* Derek Shepherd: not Patrick Dempsey, i don't think i like him much but i'm crazy in love with mc dreamy. he warms my heart.

* 1 million : i thought Paco Rabbane just modified Versace's 'Dreamer' a bit but now i know better. he added the 'yum' to the perfume and the bottle is absolutely fantastic. please don't wear the perfume around me, i'll stalk you. it reminds me of a certain someone.

* my 'O' chain : well technically now, my 'O' pendant.

* tylenol pm : it's a brilliant drug and only lunatics would abuse it.

* hula hoops : original flava only pleeeaaase.

* weddings : especially when the bride is walking down the aisle and it looks like the groom is about to bolt...and when vows are exchanged (the moment Heaven will always remember and mos def not to be taken lightly). for a while now though, i haven't been disposed to attending them.

* hugs and back rubs : they are so very magical and they always lift my mood.

* Mary J. Blige : all she has to do is open her mouth. i love majority of her songs and halfway through them, i'm singing at the top of my voice and sometimes with my eyes closed or tears threatning to stream down.

* my children's names : silly maybe, but i've started thinking up names for my unborn (not even conceived) children. i love their names, they mean so much...and i can't wait to attach a person to those names.

can't think of any more of my favorite things but these are just enough to cheer me up.
"When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don't feel so bad".

...

2009-03-08T13:18:00.000-07:00

Father, I place into Your hands
The things I cannot do.
Father, I place into Your hands
The things that I’ve been through.
Father, I place into Your hands
The way that I should go,
For I know I always can trust You.

Father, I place into Your hands
My friends and family.
Father, I place into Your hands
The things that trouble me.
Father, I place into Your hands
The person I would be,
For I know I always can trust You.

Father, we love to see Your face,
We love to hear Your voice.
Father, we love to sing Your praise
And in Your name rejoice.
Father, we love to walk with You
And in Your presence rest,
For we know we always can trust You.

Father, I want to be with You
And do the things You do.
Father, I want to speak the words
That You are speaking too.
Father, I want to love the ones
That You will draw to You,
For I know that I am one with You.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

2008-12-29T10:10:00.000-08:00

just thot to drop a line and wish everyone on blogville happy holidays. all the very best for the new year.
i've become a hopelesss blogger and i've got law school to blame for that but i know i'll get my blog life back...soon i hope.
CONGRATULATIONS MYSTIQUE: homegirl got engaged. all the very best darling. let's know when you set the date. hugs and kisses muchos!!!

CHECKIN' IN!

2008-11-29T08:17:00.000-08:00

it's been a very crazy month. law school is so darn hard and stressful. i thought i was gonna be able to blog every friday but this is the 1st time in over a month.

i moved into school accommodation ( very crappy but making the best of it) and it was so hard for me cos i'd never stayed in a hostel before and i didn't last long in secondary school boarding house either. needless to say, i love my roommates to bits (BB, Ops and Iya TM), they are the funnest, seriousest, loveliest, funniest and amazingest people ever. and there's our newly adopted roommate (BJ), i wonder what we'd do without her wake-up knock every morning and her company all evening.

i've made alot of new friends, i've learnt to get along with people i would otherwise have nothing to do with and i've also learnt team work and team spirit (we have to do tasks everyday in school so we are divided into groups for grading). oh yea, and there are the usual piranhas, sex offenders and jonzers.

alot has happened in the last month and i really cant wait for the sallah holidays (it's just next week, woop woop!), hopefully, i'll get loads of time to blog and gist about everything.

COUNTDOWN TO MY SISTERS' ARRIVAL FOR XMAS: 21 DAYS

i'll be MIA

2008-10-19T03:13:00.000-07:00

what it do beautiful people? just thought to let you know that i'll be MIA...with good reason. law school starts tomorrow and lucky for me, i got posted to Lagos...yay!
would mos def check in from time to time and i hope i get the time to make an entry every now and again. maybe a "random friday" post where i'll be totally random...on fridays...errrrr...i'll randomly blog on fridays...i'll talk about random things every friday...ok, i don't know where all of that came from.
will miss y'all...boohoo!

RE: quick question

2008-10-08T13:19:00.000-07:00

i cant thank everyone enough for your opinions. my take is basically: once a person disses the relationship, that's it. why fight a lost cause?
i had this chat with someone and he thought i had a boyish mentality and that every normal girl would fight for what was hers even if she'll eventually walk away. me...i'll walk away almost instantly, is there any point of being further insulted with whatever explanations the other party has to proffer?
i can't tolerate any form of infidelity whether in relationships, marriage or otherwise. that's why my natural reaction to any kind would be to just 'up and go'. with reason (after thinking things through, if i ever do) my reaction would be:
- if it was a relationship: i'm gone. as brownsugar said, i won't even think twice about whatever investments i've made.
- if i was married without kids: i might try and work things out (emphasis on might) but i really don't see a reason to, there'll automatically be a strain on the relationship.
- if i was married with kids and it happened when they were pretty young, i'll play that number till something sticks and i don't mind doing it for the kids (in the words of Robbie Williams and Kylie Minogue).
- if it happens when the kids are old, why pack out of my husband's house at that age? the marriage is obviously dead, but i ain't going nowhere!!
ultimately, we never really know what we're gonna do until we are faced with such situations.

p.s: why's everyone thinking along the lines of shagging? spending time and doing intimate things that are sorta exclusive to a couple counts as cheating for me. regular phone calls, flirty and over familiar text messages, going on dates and the likes all amount to cheating (in my world). is it until they seal it with a shag????
p.s again: cheating stinks, but if u ever do it, is it too hard to obey the 11th commandment (thou shalt not get caught)?

QUICK QUESTION.

2008-10-07T12:38:00.000-07:00

hello beautiful people of blogville. been a minute. anyhoo, straight to the point, i need your opinion on an issue. please be as honest and truthful as possible, no one's gonna judge no one. take as much space as you may and comment as many times as you like.
QUESTION:
what would you do if you caught your man/woman cheating (doesn't have to have been while in action, just the knowledge of it is enough)?
**please take the following into consideration:
- if it was just a meaningless shag.
- if it was a regular occurrence with a particular person.
- if you both were married.
- if you were married without kids.
- if you were married with kids.

thanks alot.
p.s: i have my take on this issue but i need to be sure that my mentality is not warped. would most definitely share my take after i read your 2 cents. thanks again. xxx

FEELS LIKE YESTERDAY

2008-09-29T10:05:00.001-07:00

(grab some popcorn and a drink- my very own chic flick)

"ruyiiscomingtomyhouseat2shina" - this was a text i got on the 29th of September last year from my good friend, Shina. i don't know what irritated me more, the fact that the text was not punctuated with spaces or the fact that this was yet again, another of the constant attempts to hook me up. i'd only been single for about a year but it somehow got everyone i knew worried.

anyhoo, i rang Shina up and tried to make excuses why i wasn't gonna be available but he was having none of it. he showed up at my house in a matter of minutes offering to chaperon me for the day (that was his way of making sure that i didn't escape). he had attempted to set up a meeting between Ruyi and i this one time when he was ill and in hospital; he asked me to come check him up but i didn't show and i later learnt that he had asked Ruyi to be at the hospital as well .
i really didn't have anything to do that day so we ended up driving around aimlesly, then Shina's phone rang and when he got off the phone, he instructed me to drive back to his house. i didn't wanna be a spoil sport so i obliged. by the time we got around the house, Ruyi had been waiting a while and he had taken his car to the carwash. just as we drove past the carwash, Shina's phone rang again and it was Ruyi saying he just saw Shina in a car that just went past, so i basically had to turn back. we got to the carwash and i didnt get out of the car, just checked the boy out briefly and dropped Shina off. i went back home and got a call from Shina saying he was bringing Ruyi over to my house later on. after what i saw at the carwash, i really didn't mind;-)
i had to drive out again to go buy stuff (nope, it wasn't in prep for my expected guest. i went to buy ariel for my sisters who live in london and can ask for just about everything from Naij, from milo to dettol soap to noodles to hair weaves), and there was no other route but to pass by the carwash and they were still there so i slowed it down and hola'd (Ruyi thinks i was already feeling him and i really didn't have anywhere to go but i just wanted to check him out again...yea woteva). ofcourse i drove past the carwash on my way back again, like i said, there's no other route ( i can imagine what was goin through the bloke's mind at this point).
i took a walk to a friend's place just because i didn't want to be at home when they got there ( you know, i had to look unavailable...lol). so they came to pick me up from my friend's place and at my house, we got talking. a couple of friends came over to mine so the atmosphere wasn't stiff. i had it behind my head the entire time that we were both subjects of a 'hook up' and i felt he had that knowledge as well so that could have made for a really akward time if we didn't have other company.
after a while (sometime around 8pm), it became just Shina, Ruyi and i, i popped open a bottle of red wine and the lights were dim ( i wasn't tryna set the mood ooo! my excuse: i had the inverter on cos there was no light and it wasn't well charged up so i tried not to overload it), Shina was trying to be invisible and Ruyi and i carried on talking, even though he was majorly talking about I.T stuff, good lawd my 'geekdar' (geek radar) recorded its highest that day. in my head, i just kept thinking "why is this hawt cute dude so vain". anyways, it came to the time when he had to leave and then i noticed Shina's presence:-D
we didn't exchange numbers that day, there really wouldn't have been any point to it but we got together two days later with a coupla other friends as well and we went go-karting. that was when he took my number and now, the rest is history. that vain hawt cute thang is now my Mc dreamy. we've been together for about 10 months now (we didn't start a relationship until December). i've often tried to think of what the story would be now if i bailed out that day or if we just plainly hated one another's guts from the 1st meeting. i never believed in hook-ups or match making or whatever they call 'em these days and i've never been one to participate but i'm so glad i bent the rules. it's the 29th of September today and i can't help but bless this day.

{Kemberly, u are totally allowed to sue my ass for copyright infringement but i'm stealing that song, it's so appropriate.}
i'm dedicating the song 'Beautiful Surprise' by India Arie to my man (sheesh, Cupid struck me hard) .

It's like yesterday
I didn't even know your name
Now today
You're always on my mind
I never could have predicted that I'd feel this way
You are a beautiful surprise...

...Intoxicated
Every time I hear your voice
You've got me on a natural high
It's almost like I didn't even have a choice
You are a beautiful surprise...

...Whatever it is you came to teach me
I am here to learn it cause
I believe that we're written in the stars
I don't know what the future holds
But I'm living in the moment
And I'm thankful for the man that you are, you are, you are...

...You are everything I asked for in my prayers
So I know my angels brought you to my life
Your energy is healing to my soul
You are a beautiful surprise
You are an inspiration to my life
You are the reason why I smile...

...You are a beautiful surprise.

UPDATE!

2008-09-24T13:11:00.000-07:00

hiya everyone. my silence is totally explainable. basically, no update. so, jerked up ex boyfriend and i haven't been in touch by design. i replied his email with one word: "noted". i admit that was cold but it was better than childishly going on about how i was through with him hence he should not bother my life bla bla bla.
i've spent the last week doing medicals for law school and praying that i get posted to Lagos. i'm allergic to flying in Nigeria's air space plus i can't conquer the initial move, you know packing all my stuff and trying to settle in an unknown land. i've been on blogville every single day reading all the blogs i stalk, and trying to save my post that's due for publishing next monday (it's quite a significant day for me, you'll find out soon).
oh yeah, i totally can't explain what has been up with me since saturday. i just sit and the tears flow gradually. my conscious isn't thinking about anything sad and no, i'm not having emotional drama. i'm researching into it, it might be a medical thingy. hopefully its nothing major. i hope i can get over this quick quick.
asides that, nufin is up!!!!!!

ALAKOBA!!!

2008-09-12T12:33:00.000-07:00

i had a real good day today. mustav been cos my man gave me something good to wake up to (woteva it is u r thinking, we did not sleep in the same house and no, i did not see him this morning). i think my mum has fired me so i didn't get to go to work today (all thru the week akshully), so that made my day even better. had my coffee like i always do and i even had a bath before 12noon (a very rare ocurrence especially when i don't have to step outside the house). i've been reading this crazily long book since July and with all determination to finish it this month, i picked it up again today, reading away.
my friend came over and we were filling one another in on all the goss we'd missed. we had a real good time, binged on food and drink and touched on every topic; sex, ex-es, relationships we are glad to be out of and the ones we are glad to be in, a pending bridal and baby shower, basically everything.
my mum then came home, gisting me about work and the outcome of a meeting (which was great news btw). i'm thinking, "awwww today is a really good day". i was just about to ring up my man, make plans for 2mrw and generally talk but i'm like, i'll just check my email first.
i open my mail and i see that of the 3 mails i had, one was from an ex (another was from Standtall- hi Standtall!!!). i save the 'ex mail' for last cos i really dont want it to ruin my mood. "woddehell does he want??!!!", i'm thinking.
u see these boys, Alakoba ni won. so he was one of those boyfriends that i didn't like that much but damn it! he was hawt. he was really tall, apparently a basketball player (he didnt ever go pro tho :-P) and somewhat cute. i haven't seen or heard from him in 4years, he could have dropped off the surface of the earth for all i cared and suddenly he's sending me an email. before i opened the mail, i tried to remember stuff about him...nothing. why we broke up?... i don't remember (i think he had to go away and we were both too young to commit with the distance and all, not sure tho!). stuff i liked about him at the time?...might sound shallow but he was arm candy (i just liked that when he came off the court and all the girls' eyes were trailing him, he was coming to me on the bleachers- u should have seen those broads turn to all the shades of green). anything else?...nope. i came to the conclusion that the relationship was inconsequential, hence whatever was in that email waiting to be opened was also of no consequence. with that in mind, i opened the mail and basically it said that he was back in town and he'd like to hook up and then he left his number. HOOK UP??? jonzer! wot kind of hook up btw, i've come to find that the term has several conotations.
i'm very mono-dimensional when it comes to relationships. i hate distractions and more importantly not from a 'blast from my past'. i dont want to have to think about anything else but my man and i (even when we are having a rough patch- i'd much rather work it out no matter what, than call a random boy for cheering up, consolation or distraction). i hate to leave room for opportunity and familiarity. i mean where were all these ALAKOBAS when i was single and more or less doing speed dating. now, it's when i'm happy and more than content that some people want to put sand in my garri. long and short of the story, there's nothing to hook up about, nothing to say, nothing to talk through and btw, did he think i suspended my life for 4 years waiting for him to magically appear?? uh HELL frigging NO!!!

ALAKOBA means kobaliser...lol! (not much help aye?) i'm tryna to think of the English meaning. somebody help!!

*i've just read thru the post and i know it may come across as if such people pose a threat to my relationship. i'd like to clarify that they don't in any way, i'm just not willing to entertain any of it.

YAY! I GOT AN AWARD

2008-09-07T13:55:00.000-07:00

Blogville's Miss Adorable ( declared by me!!!!) - Kinshar gave me this award and i'm so touched. gorra spread the love, so i'm awarding the following bloggers.

- Mystique

- Miss Balance

- Mona

- Adifferentnaijaspec

- Buttercup and Chari

- Rayo

- Standtall

you guys have to spread the love as well, to at least 7 other bloggers ( and u have to put up a post and show off the award). CONGRATULATIONS!!!

MY SECRET OBSESSION!!!!!

2008-09-02T07:57:00.000-07:00

i caught myself doing something again (going to Amsale's website)...and this is just one of many. i regularly stop by Manuel Mota (for Pronovias), Elie Saab, Vera Wang and Suzanne Neville's websites as well. what these people have in common is that they are wedding dress designers.

i am not the wedding obsessed type (heck! who am i fooling?) okay, so i almost always attend all the weddings i get invited to, i love looking at wedding pictures and i take notes all the time and i'm crazy about bridal showers. i think my obsession is born out of this funny feeling i've always had, that i'll be caught unawares ( i can't explain why) and i don't want to leave out a single detail in my euphoric state. i mean it's supposed to be the happiest day of my life and my once in a lifetime wedding to so i'm allowed all these years of planning right????

that's not where it ends. i have changed my color scheme a gazillion times as well as the venue, the timing, the format (no owambe do abeg, if i could escape the whole traditional wedding thingy, i'll be the happiest bride alive), the wedding cake and the number of guests...however, my maid of honor and bridesmaid (just 1) have remained the same.

the truth is it's just my girly fantasy but in the real world, i'm not even ready to be a bride or a wife ( i just need a li'l bit of time, and i'll be fine and all prepped). i still haven't found the perfect dress so i'm allowed to keep checking these websites from time to time.

p.s: if anyone is thinking of giving me a gift, a wedding scrap book would just be fine ;-)

RANDOM RANDOM RANDOM!
- happy 'soon-coming' wedding day and married life to Marie and Adeoye.

- happy 'soon-coming' wedding day and married life to Bisayo and Omotola.

- happy 9 month-o-versary (and happy 2 month-o-versary for you know what and happy 1 month-o-versary for... ynaaameean *wink wink) to me and my gorgeous bloke, luv u mucho booboo. in funkylicious and sugarlicious tradition: luv u, luv u, luv u, luv u, luv u, luv u, luv u, luv u, luv u. x x x x x x x x x .

- Harvard law school is asking for $42,000 (just what i need to buy myself a 2009 Chevrolet avalanche) for tuition and i'm considering going there for my LL M next year, please be ready to dip your hands in your pocket and donate (i'll be starting my charity soon...lol!) seeing that they want me to go and rob and i will not give in. if y'all could do it for Obama, you can do the same for me...LMAO!!!

A LI'L SUM'IN SUM'IN FOR MY GIRLS

2008-08-24T14:49:00.000-07:00

CAVEAT: i should reiterate that my blog is not all feminist and sh*t even tho it looks so yet again!!!

the last one month or so hasn't been great for us girls (emotionally) and i really don't know what to blame it on (maybe the summer). loads of boyfriends and partners are just messing up (the root cause of which may be summer flings) i'm not gonna generalise and would therefore like to give props to all you real men out there who love your women regardless .

it's just crazy to see half of my friends on facebook change their relationship status every now and again, the profile updates are not any better. in simple words, people's hearts and heads are being totally messed with and that's just plain lame.
i've had to listen to people very close to me pour out their breaking or broken hearts, i've had to listen to them whine, watch them cry, i've had to say things to them which i'm not exactly sure i believe but those are the words they need to hear at the moment. i've dealt with all sorts and it's not very encouraging especially when it involves relationships i've envied at some point.

the whole situation is just vicious and i think it's time for people of the other gender to take us seriously (even if it's only half the seriousness and affection they give to inanimate things such as their cars and laptops and half the passion they dedicate to soccer and drinking). we deserve a whole lot more but that would just do for now.

what you guys need to know is that these things hurt us deeply and scar us (if we are lucky, not for life). i've had some pretty messed up experiences which aren't even a quarter as bad as stuff i've heard from some other girls and it has designed me into a person who goes into a relationship with the first instinct of coming out of it whole. why should i go in and be thinking of coming out? why should i be thinking:
it took a real long time to get that thinking out of the way and i'm hoping i don't ever have to be like that again.

anyways
* to my girls who haven't found someone who makes their heart smile, YOU WILL BE LOVED!
* to my girls who are dealing with bullsh*t, YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER!
* to those who are heartbroken, CRY IT OUT, IT'S THERAPEUTIC AND BE SURE TO TAKE A LESSON AWAY FROM THIS.
* to those who are in undefined relationships, IF HE'S NOT READY TO DEFINE IT, WALK AWAY AND MEND NOW THAN BE LEFT OUTSIDE IN THE COLD LATER.
* to those who are messing with other people's men, YOU NEED A THOROUGH SLAPPING. TRY ADDING THE DANG TWO DIGITS OF YOUR I.Q AND SEE IF YOU CAN THINK FOR A SECOND ABOUT THE DAMAGE YOU ARE CAUSING. SOMEONE ELSE'S MAN AIN'T YOUR GAME, HE'S OFF LIMITS!!!
* to those who think they need a man to complete them, YOU ARE ALREADY COMPLETE, YOU JUST NEED SOMEONE TO COMPLEMENT YOU.
* to those who have completely given up on love, PLEASE BELIEVE; LOVE IS A BEAUTIFUL THING!
*TO EVERYONE: IN THE END EVERYTHING IS OKAY, IF IT'S NOT OKAY, THEN IT'S NOT THE END.

2008-08-18T09:01:00.000-07:00

i've missed blogging like crazy; the long break is just very typical of my restless self and how i get bored easily but i guess blogging is in my blood...i just love lov luv lurve (and all the other spelling variations of love) it.
i love the following poem by Pamela Redmond Satran (often miscredited to Maya Angelou) and thot to share and i'm too sure a lot of us women have seen this before.
p.s: i'm the greatest advocate of girl power but i don't intend to make my blog purely feminist, so please excuse me one more time guys. anyhoo, here goes the poem and my comments in red.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to…you never know!

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
a youth she’s content to leave behind….

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to
retelling it in her old age….aww, mine is quite boring.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ….
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra…i'm going tool shopping!

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
one friend who always makes her laugh… and one who lets her cry…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
a feeling of control over her destiny...really important.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to fall in love without losing herself...we need to stay true!

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without; ruining the friendship…gotta learn to be tactical.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
when to try harder… and WHEN TO WALK AWAY…this is all so true

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that she can’t change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that her childhood may not have been perfect…but its over…let it go.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
what she would and wouldn’t do for love or more…strike a balance

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to live alone… even if she doesn’t like it…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
whom she can trust,
whom she can’t,
and why she shouldn’t take it personally…i'm learning

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
where to go…
be it to her best friend’s kitchen table…
or a charming inn in the woods…
when her soul needs soothing…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
what she can and can’t accomplish in a day…
a month…and a year…

RANDOM RANDOM RANDOM!!!!!
- congratulations to my cousin Keke 'Isis' Adenuga and her husband to be Cecil Hammond on their traditional engagement.the engagement party was wonderful and may the good Lord bless the 23rd ( i won't be in Seychelles but my prayers are with you). may God bless your union.

- London Buki, u did good with the 'mummy mondays', miss those and your blog generally...congratulations on the 100th and may your mum's soul continually rest in God's peace.

- also London Chameleon, your blog is greatly missed. congratulations!!

-today is the 18th and my application to Nigerian Law School must get to Abuja on or before the 22nd and i don't even have an application number yet...not funny!

-Damani is the winner of my biggest fan contest. thanks for ur support sis. mwahh! muchas gracias to DB, Lolade, 2fly and Kin'shar, all runners up.

-i'm uber proud of Toritse Bob-Egbe and all the others at WLFF (with love from friends), a non-profit organisation aimed to improve the quality of education in Nigeria. it's really nice of u lot to give back to the society. i'm so in!!!!!

-Damani and Tanwa, you were designed to get stronger and better and be loved...remember that.

-my extra special, thank you for loving me.

- i just keep changing my blog theme and generally cluttering and declutterring the whole thing but i'm back to the original, only that i can't get the heading font right no more...oh well.

-i wish it was November (thanksgiving to be precise), there's alot i'm sooooooo thankful for.

-i wanna be rich and famous for doing the things i love to do best: talking and smiling.

-congratulations DB (on your results).

-Dodo and Soga, i'm counting down for u both and praying as well.

the zim issue

2008-06-30T19:16:00.000-07:00

last week thursday, i was in church for a prayer convocation. while i was getting ready for church, i was watching the news and as we all know Zimbabwe has been making headlines. i watched as young people who supported the MDC were brutalised, tortured, killed, a woman was serially raped, people were burnt alive, others were part of the never ending queue at the South African embassy...it was just inhuman. a couple of funerals were also shown and it was so sad to see family members of the deceased grieve just because they stood for something.

i didnt get the full effect of this madness until i saw Mr Robert Mugabe speak at the final rally. he condemned everything positive, dissed people who were against his 'crase' from Gordon Brown to the Archbishop of Canterbury and he even tried to justify Zimbabwe's condition, claiming that some other African countries had the same thing going. it was just plain crazy.

anyways, it was the day before the Zimbabwean election and Pastor Agu Irukwu (of RCCG JH) asked the congregation to pray for Zimbabwe and it was the most selfless act i've ever seen. we spent minutes praying for a miracle for that country and i know for a fact that God has heard, we are simply waiting for a manifestation, even though Mr Mugabe has already been sworn in for his...how many terms has he spent again???.

i might not know anyone from Zim (except for Tapuwa of the first Big Brother Africa...and it's not like i know her) but this issue concerns me...and you...and the whole world. so let's all spare a thought every now and again for our Zimbabwean brothers and occassionally pray for peace in their land.

i'm back.

2008-05-02T09:19:00.000-07:00

first of all, my profound apologies goes to everyone who missed this blog. i really missed it as well, night after night, i wished the extremely busy moment would just fade away so i could breathe and blog and be me. oh well, it's all over now...exams are over and i am a self-declared LLB holder(Amen).
just thought to announce that the blog is back. thank you all for your patience and support.
mwah!!!
p.s: the blog layout is back to normal. i'm done gloating.
oh yea, the contest has started and u get points for the number of comments u leave, so more comments ok...lol!

hey!!

2008-03-17T08:17:00.000-07:00

missed you lot a great deal. i didn't realise how much this blog and all you blog-folk meant to me. anyhoo, HOLA!!!! everyone. i can't even start to explain where i've been. it's been a hectic last-month and next month is only gonna be worse. i've got final exams coming up but i'll be checking in from time to time...i promise.
the whole new theme and layout of my blog is in commemoration of an I-pod touch in my life...that was my valentine's gift and i can't stop gloating (didn't realise how nappy the nano i used to be proud to own was till the arrival of my baby-the touch). thanks alot baby. anyhoo, i fell ill last week but i'm so thankful to be hale and hearty now. apparently, that wasn't the only falling that took place in the last month, i fell in love and i still don't know how to act...am i supposed to be normal, or should i wear a signboard telling the whole world. i really should quit with the way i inject it into all the conversations i have with potential stalkers.
scenario: i'm talking to this dude that clearly fancies me, he's asking for my number, then i start to say my man's number (deliberately), i apologise and then i go, "that was a wrong number, i'm just so in love with this guy that i don't even remember my number"...it works like magic...lol.
anyways, my lovely sisters are gonna be home for a week. countdown to their arrival- exactly 7 days.
ciao everyone, see u real soon. mwah!!
p.s: the contest for my biggest fan is starting soon....silly me! gear up peoples!!!!

THE GHOST OF VALENTINE'S PAST

2008-02-06T06:09:00.000-08:00

Did January go so fast? Or is it just me? I’m thinking “February came so soon”. Then again, it could be because I’ve been sorta dreading the 14th and my man has been on about it. We’ve (more like he has) been planning Valentine’s Day since the beginning of January and I have (times without number) carefully evaded the subject (or maybe he senses my sensitivity on the subject and just lets it fly).

**my computer just did something really irritating. I wrote the “v” and the “d” in the words “valentine’s day” in lower case and the silly thingy goes ahead to give it the green wavy line to signify that there is something wrong with the words. It insists that the “v” and the “d” must be in upper case. See! That’s the problem, too much hype about Valentine’s Day. If people had their way, it’d be a public holiday.

My very gorgeous man (excuse me, I’m allowed to gloat) is in over his head, tryna figure out what we could do to celebrate. It’s a week day (Thursday to be precise…my busiest school day plus he has work) and we both agreed that it’d be too much hassle doing anything after a pretty long day. Good for me because I can’t even imagine bumping into all the love struck couples…it would so affect my psyche…lol!
It totally reminds me of 2 valentines’ ago, I had gone out with a couple of friends (Seun & Bisayo) to have drinks. Then all the couples started coming in, girls dressed in red (like it was aso-ebi for the day) and dudes forming chivalrous (doing their one good deed for the year…lol!). It was extremely funny at the time and my friends and I were laughing and making fun of these peeps. I can speak for everyone on that table and authoritatively say that we really were all wallowing in misery but that was our cover-up…and hey, we had each other. That night, I couldn’t help thinking about the people I had laughed at that evening…at least they were happy and there I was all sad and lonely and almost crying tears of alcohol (lmao!).
The last time I had any valentine’s activity was 4 years ago and I got a cat (Kimora), which was kinda cute. It’s been nothing after that…no dinners, no gifts, no attention, no fuss about the day, just me and a drink…thinking about how much I got in the bank from selling perfumes to love struck peeps.
Two years ago, I had to plan a surprise for my older sister. Her man lived out of the country and he still went all out for her…perfume, champagne, chocolate…the whole nine yards…it was really sweet. How can I forget my kid sister, year after year, I’ve been her valentine’s consultant, suggesting gift ideas and even going shopping for them…still, nothing happened for me.
So why am I totally freaked out about valentine’s this year? Oh well, I am gonna partake in it and not just be the grinch who stole valentine’s. See, I’ve got that special someone who thinks I deserve to be fussed over and he really has put in so much effort. We’ve decided to do something the weekend after, at least the hype would have subsided by then. We have no idea what to do…so your suggestions are very welcome.

**note to my man: baby, thanks for putting up with my erratic reactions when you bring up the topic. I hope u now get why I’ve come across as difficult on this valentine’s issue. It’s really hard for me, to go from passive to active. I guess I’m just haunted…by the ghost of valentines past.

WOMEN'S RIGHTS

2008-01-24T06:53:00.000-08:00

This topic was spurred by my last entry. Ladies, if I missed out any of our rights, please feel free to notify me in the comments and I’ll be more than happy to edit this post. Boys, listen up! You cannot infringe on the following rights without facing consequences such as silent treatment, passive aggression or our legendary “headaches”.

1.The right to flirt. This is an inalienable right that every woman possesses regardless of her dating status but may not often be exercised.

2.The right to dress to kill.

3.The right to mark our territories even if that means kissing our men in front of their ex-girlfriends.

4.The right to go on a girls’ day or night out without being interrupted by an insecure boyfriend’s phone call.

5.The right to spend hours at the salon and ask the guys to wait with us. After all, they are the major reason why we bother anyway.

6.The right to declare that we have a headache. Notice I didn’t say “the right to fake a headache”, I said DECLARE! We’ve been busted ages ago, so it is pointless to fake it these days. Just declare it.

7.The right to read our boyfriend, fiancé, partner or husband’s text messages as long as they are reading ours (and even if they are not!).

8. The right to use birth control without consulting your partner. At the end of the day, it’s your life o!

9.The right to wear the pants but when and only when the guy is evading it. Someone has got to be responsible.

10.The right to resort to blackmail to have our way and that includes turning on the water works (crying).

11.The right to be treated as equals. To hell with all the male chauvinism.

thanks for the following lollie:

12.) the right to be SPOILT in all levels because we deserve it (...preach it sister!!!)

13.) The right to be your one and ONLY! How hard is that? ( sorta like rocket science for them...lmao!)

14.) The right to ENJOY it.. After I"ve taken your pain killers, It better be off da chain.(lol!)

thanks for the following damani (p.s: parental advisory, explicit content...lol!)

15. the right to demand a cunnilingus without necessarily giving a fellatio.

16. the right to demand a man make me scream. I am sick of peeps who talk the talk but dont work (walk) the work (walk)

17. the right to demand to be pampered without the guy expecting sexual favours in return

18. the right to have intelligent conversations with a man. damn! i knw am attractive but sometimes look me in the eye wen u speak to me instead of staring at my boobs and stammering.

19. the right to surprise u in my own way, not hinting and disgusting me with ur perveted sexual fantasies.

TEW COOL FOR SCHOOL!

2008-01-23T04:30:00.000-08:00

‘Tis no longer the season and the Christmas and New Year celebrations have left everyone broke, including me. It was a fabulous holiday that included a wedding, two nights of wild partying, a couple of Christmas gigs, a birthday party and New Year’s Day family reunion. I mustav overdone it because I fell ill ( you know the kinda cold that comes from not sleeping properly, perhaps induced by a hangover and then culminates into the flu and then back into a cold that just won’t leave).

Anyways, just when you require time out to recover from all of it, you remember that school’s back in session on the 2^nd of January. SECOND OF JANUARY??? By the time it sinks in, it’s the 4^th which is a Friday, so hey, no school till the next week.

I totally show up in school on the 7^th of January, with my holiday hair-do…you know…the one that made me look good for the clubs…the one that had the lingering cigar smell…the one that got tagged in all those facebook pictures…the one that’s just perfect for dutty-wine’ing…the one that should never have made it to school…oh well, but it did. To top it up, I was all dressed in jeans and a tee even though the faculty dress code required that I was to wear a proper white shirt on a proper black skirt (that sort of infringes on a woman’s right to dress to kill).

So, I’m sitting in International law class and next thing, my lecturer is asking why I’m not in regulatory dress code. (Like duh! Isn’t it obvious that I’m too cool for school…lmao!). Since I can’t say that loud, I utter an apology in the croakiest voice ever, the kind that signifies that one is trying so hard to stay awake.

Now that I’ve fully recovered from the alcohol and party induced illness, I’m back on track and there’s no way I’m too cool for school. I’m in my last semester of ten (the duration of an undergraduate programme in law in Nigeria) and I totally can not wait to graduate in April. If that means that I have to go to school on weekends and resemble a penguin, SO BE IT!

This is the kind of spirit one adopts when you realise that you’re gonna turn 23 in a few months and you’ve still got a year of postgraduate law school to attend so you can get called to the bar and you’ve also got another year to get an LLM. And just what if your prayers for the cancellation of NYSC doesn’t get answered? That’s an additional one year. So all of that put together with undergrad school is 8 years…more like 10 when you add all the strikes and unnecessary long holidays.

Shoulda been too cool for school years ago when I was filling that goddamn JAMB form. It’s a little too late now. No regrets anyways. You know what they say about shoulda! woulda! coulda!

2008-01-15T04:42:00.000-08:00

New Year, new dawn, new blog, new resolutions, new dreams, new plans, new status…it’s all new…and if I must add, a great deal of it is superficial. We all get caught up in the hype of a new beginning and as the days grow into months and everything simmers down, we lose ourselves in our regular routine and forget all the plans we made in times like these. So am I speaking for so many people or am I the only one that goes through this?
In all of these, I know there’s one thing I’m gonna carry on with and that one thing is my blog. Last year, I discovered a part of me that loves to blog…you know, just say everything and anything and not even bother so much about if anybody or everybody reads it. It was tons of fun writing about my single life (now I’m in a relationship and loving every second of it…even those damn fights and pointless bickers) and even more fun knowing that I had people reading. Generally, blogging for me was so exhilarating cos I was sick of not having someone around to talk to as events were unfolding (being that I’m such a talker…my boyfriend says I talk enough for the both of us…lmao).
This new blog has no theme, nor storyline. It’s basically gonna be random and will go anywhere the wind blows. Brace yourselves up for the days of totally crappy gist, general ramblings and unwarranted musings. Still, I can promise posts worth reading and moments where you’d look forward to updates (wink* wink*).
Hey, this is it, THE F (for Funkola…I find it necessary to break it down) WORD!!!